You were someone before you were their mom – and that person still matters
I feel like we often forget that we are more than a mother. The moment you get pregnant you start dreaming about that baby, selflessly planning its arrival, buying the cutest clothes and doing your best to set up the baby’s little nook. In the midst of all that you forget to take care of yourself. You don’t give yourself enough rest, and often run on coffee and get dehydrated. Your body begs you to take care of it, but you unconsciously ignore its signs.
The baby is finally here, and your sleepless nights just got to another level. You are up more than you can count, constantly feeding the baby and selflessly taking care of your precious one. You are now deep down into the motherhood trenches. The piles of laundry, dishes, constant feedings, and diaper changes have just buried you all the way down. You forget you have needs. You forget you need care too. You forget, or simply ignore that you exist. That you were a person before that tiny human too. So you get consumed in your motherhood role even more.
Now you’re completely lost, and you are running on survival mode. You are a walking zombie aka “mombie” and you cannot seem to understand what just happened. Like, where did that person go. The person that she was before she was a mom.
Well, take a step back. She is still here, and she still matters. You still matter, mama!
Your well being is as important as that little baby of yours. Your needs are necessary too, and your body needs rest as well. You’re neglecting yourself care, support and love all because you think it’s selfish. No! It’s not. It’s much needed. In fact, how will your baby be taken care of if you’re not taken care of? How will your baby be happy if you’re not happy? You are the only one that can give that baby a happy mother. Only you. Think about it. Let it sink in.
You used to make hair appointments, get your nails done, maybe squeeze in a spa date and grab dinner with your bestie or your partner. That person still can and wants to do all that. You just have to try harder. That person deserves all that.
I know you have heard this over and over again. If you follow me on Instagram (@motherhood_charm) you know I speak a lot about self-care and self-love. I think it’s so important we practice both. I think it’s so important we do something for ourselves and not feel guilty about it. Your kids are fine. My kids are fine. It’s you and I that need more of self-love and self-care.
You were someone before you were their mom and that person still matters.
Now, that’s some powerful stuff right there. It really captures the essence of what self care should be for us moms.
So much of my identity now is being a mom to Vasilije, Mateja and Anastasija. It will forever be my favorite role too. But, that doesn’t mean that all parts of me should be lost.
You need to make a promise to yourself.
You need to make a promise to yourself that you matter too. That you will make time for yourself. That you will do what makes you happy.
I always remind myself that I too matter very much to these three tiny humans and one man who loves me as I am.
Every morning I wake up, I choose…
I choose to love myself a little more. I choose to not pull myself apart and pick out my flaws. I choose to get dressed up, do my five minute makeup and hair, and be a happy mom to my three little babes. They deserve a happy mother, and I deserve the extra care too.
I make time for me, myself and I. I will schedule random pedicures just to have some alone time. I will make their nap time my time. I will keep my weekly dates with bestie, whether it be a sushi date or a Sunday adventure into the city, looking for new coffee spots, etc. I will make myself a priority too.
Thank you for stopping by and reading. Stay tuned for the next post on the Travel Series: Busy Boxes for Kids. I have been working on these as time permits.
Ps. Follow me on Instagram @motherhood_charm and you can also search for me as a Beautycounter consultant now under Vesna Tanasic. If you have any questions or need any help with products just send me a message.